Contact

Because of a virtual storm of pranks and hateful communication received in the early days of our business, Attractive Corpse no longer publishes either an e-mail address or phone number. We do not have time for even sincere correspondence from those who think we are "cool," do not grant interviews, will not supply references (for reasons that should be obvious), will not discuss clients with those they left behind, and no longer maintain the humorous online "suicide note generator."

As a consulting firm, we make our living by benefiting our clients and through advertising on this Web site. We are not in the business of critiquing amateur suicide plans, giving free advice on suicide methods, aiding in a faux-suicide "call for help," or advising on the creation of "scary" scenes for Halloween. There are plenty of other resources on the Internet for these things.

Before you attempt to contact us, ask yourself these questions:

Do you sincerely and completely want to end your life?
Have you exhausted all possible alternatives?
Are you at least 18 years of age?
Do you live in a state where our services are legal?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions, then you are a potential Attractive Corpse client. Don't worry -- you do not need to be beautiful in order to be a beautiful suicide. We will make you so.

Attractive Corpse may only be contacted indirectly. Call your local suicide hotline (their number should be in the phone book) and, after you have convinced them of your sincerity, ask to be put in touch with us. They have our number, but will not give it out until you have been extensively screened.

Remember that you are a wonderful, unique individual who deserves life. But if you feel there is no other choice, please let us ease you on our way. We will welcome you -- and miss you.

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